One Week

In one week my life will change pretty dramatically and I can.not.wait!!!

This past week has been a challenge but not at all the kind I thought it would be. I've done it. It's been worth it. I've been supported. Friends who have been texting me, please know that means SO much to me. Please don't stop. I'll need continued support even following the surgery.

Today, I met with the surgeon and he was elated that I had already lost 11 pounds in one week! I asked him, "Is there *any* other food I can eat, even pudding, maybe yogurt, a biscuit, ANYTHING?!?!" I was expecting a firm "no" or maybe an "absolutely, if you don't want to have the surgery". I wasn't hopeful and then he said it. The word I didn't expect to hear. I can still hear it in slow motion. "sssssuuuuurrrreeeee". I'msorrywhat? Excuse me? Como se what? Did you say "sure". Seriously!?! Apparently, he was so happy with my 11 pounds that he feels I can add have a few actual meals (high protein, low fat) between now and next Wednesday. Oh.my.word. Who knew a stinkin' chicken breast would mean so much? Ahhh. So, after church tonight I picked up a few Kentucky Grilled Chicken wings. I bought three, didn't want to overdo it. I ate one and had had enough. That was all I needed. I can't believe this will soon be the story of my life.

Michelle Worley: Livin' life one chicken wing at a time :)

Things I could use prayer for:

1. Anxiety about getting everything caught up at work so that I can leave for the week following my surgery without the pressure of paperwork left behind. Saturday I'm spending the ENTIRE day at Panera doing paperwork. 12 hours. Intense.

2. I'm helping plan a Spiritual Retreat for students and staff at Shelterwood Monday and Tuesday. My surgery is Wednesday so the timing is perfect. I have a LOT to do to be ready for the retreat. On top of the paperwork, it's causing some stress but I'm really excited for the retreat.

That's it. I'm ready to go. Oh my oh my. So excited!!

beginning of cranky

Today begins the countdown to my surgery...TWO WEEKS AWAY!! While that is grand and great and lovely and exciting it also means today starts my two-week liver reduction diet. I think I posted about that last time. Essentially, this is a liquid diet consisting of ONLY water, decaffinated tea, crystal light, bariatric protein shakes, sugar free jello, sugar free popsicles, and chicken broth. No thanksgiving dinner for me this year but LOTS of thanksgiving. I've already faced Lamar's Donuts this morning and didn't cave. The truth is, caving would make the surgery date impossible. The goal is to reduce the size of my liver, making the surgery technically easier for the surgeon. And I certainly want the surgery to be easy for the surgeon. Amen? Amen!

This morning was my mother-in-law's retirement party. They served Lamar's Donuts, as mentioned above. Then I went to Hyvee to order her a retirement cake for her 2nd retirement party tonight. There are going to be ENDLESS amounts of deliciousness over the course of the next two weeks. Is it worth it to miss out on all the fun holiday foods. AB-SO-LUT-ELY. 100% WITHOUT A DOUBT WORTH IT. I can't even fathom the changes that are about to take place in my life. What a blessing and what a FANTASTIC birthday present to myself.

December 7th can't come soon enough!

december 7

I thought about titling this blog "the day which will change my life" but that day occurred in the summer of 1996 when I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. On December 7, 2011, just four days before my 34th birthday, I will undergo a surgery which will dramatically change my life: how I literally live my day to day life, how I will be able to relate to others, how I will be able to play with my son and how I will be able to be...well, just be. This surgery will change my very being. Yesterday, I scheduled my gastric sleeve surgery. December 7.

On November 23, I start a liquid diet (purpose to reduce the size of my liver and make the surgery technically easier for the surgeon. In case you didn't immediately realize, this is the day before Thanksgiving. I do not find it random that God would have the surgery scheduled so that November 23 would be the first day of this liquid diet. I have no ill-conceived notions that this will be easy. Liquid diet while I'm preparing a fantastic dinner for family and friends, increased financial worry, surgery days before my birthday which would usually be spent going out to eat with family and friends will now be spent drinking liquid birthday cake. I guess I can't have my cake and eat it, too :)

I think of the word sacrifice and that does not define what I'm about to welcome into my life. The struggle will not be these next few months of my life nor the lifetime after where food can no longer be an important part of my social life. The struggle has happened for the past 33 years. The bullying, the physical handicap that obesity has caused. This has been a struggle. Yes, I am prepared to eat my words after the surgery, pun intended. I know that grief will come and, although I am currently so excited about this surgery, I know I will have days that I may even regret it. The psychologist, doctor, friends/family, and nutritionist have warned me about the grief. I know this is a reality. I MUST keep in mind the big picture.

Lord, I pray that this surgery will not only impact my life but those around me. I pray that I will be more available and that the physical restrictions on my life right now will vanish. VANISH!! Lord, use me in any way you see fit. Thank you for providing this possibility for me. Lord, when life gets tough and when I grieve the loss of this relationship with food, please bring tangible things/people into my life that will remind me of the big picture. Thank you for open doors. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.