six months, six things

Oh my sweet, sweet boy...where do I even begin. Six months, six thousand things is more like it!!

1. He loves the game of covering his mouth with his hands when you try to make him laugh. I will "come at him" with my "tickling hands" and as I approach his face he quickly brings both hands to his face and laughs hysterically. So fun!

2. Will loves tummy time and is starting to push up to his knees...in an effort to crawl, I imagine. Boy is he growing!

3. Although he continues to be in the 20th or so percentile for weight and 50th percentile for length, this boy seems SO big to everyone. Not sure what it is but he seems SO big. Probably the cloth diapers :)

4. His smile can light up a room. I've not encountered anyone that won't smile when they see him. Even people that "don't like kids" love him!

5. He's WAY interested in food although he's still not started on solids since he's been sick. He will sit at the table with us in his Bumbo and just watch every move from plate to mouth and back to plate. He mimicks us when we chew. So darn cute.

6. He's so, SO close to saying his first words. Hello, good, and mama are coming soon, I believe! He's got "Goo" and "Ga" down. OH, and still no teeth. Can I add that as part of #6? I'm his mom so I say YES!

too fast

T minus nine days until my little boy can enjoy some solid foods. I can't believe how fast time has gone. I remember how overwhelming it was coming home from the hospital in his first days. I sat on the edge of the couch, just staring at him and wondering how in the world Jason and I were going to keep this little creature alive. I'm notorious for killing plants, how in the world could a little helpless human be protected in my care. Well, I've been amazed at the skills that have been apparently within in us our entire lives. I have seen myself go from an overwhelmed "mom" who cringed at the thought of slobber, let alone anything else that might come from the littliest body to a real-life, not-for-tv MOMMY. Not only am I over being grossed-out by slobber, I'm now wiping in on my pant legs and moving on :)

Jason. I don't even know where to start. Jason has become...well, he has become. Like me, he started overly anxious about everything related to parenthood. Keep the house clean, take out the trash, wash the diapers, sweep the floor, change a diaper, make sure to use ointment, has Will had a bath today...too much to do, let alone actually spending time with Will. Now, Jason wakes up early so that while I'm getting ready he can "wear" Will around the house. They visit me in the bathroom while I get ready, they help me pick out clothes for the day, play with Izzy, spend amazing amounts of time just staring at each other in the mirror. Makes me teary just thinking about the bond they are developing and how meaningful that will be to Will when he is a father.

It's all going too fast...
I'm gonna miss this...

random thoughts

i'm a thinker of random thoughts, a planner of things to come, a "I should try that some day", a dreamer of a simpler life (but live a crazy one) kind of gal. I am living in the land of "shoulds" and I don't want to anymore (*insert childlike tantrum here*). Not that I don't think list-making is productive but when I don't accomplish all of the things on my already-much-too-long list, I resort right back to the shoulda-woulda-coulda way of thinking. This...is not productive. I'm a pretty flexible person when it comes to everyone else but me. Although I try to live in a land full of color, I find myself back in the black and white kind of thinking. All or nothing. It's truly exhausting and takes me away from my real goal: to be the woman God created me to be. When God was creating me, I doubt He said, "Well, I'm going to create her to be perfect at EVERYTHING. There were be no imperfections, she will do everything by the book." Ok, I more than DOUBT He said that, I am CONFIDENT he didn't say that. So, here I am. Back at the drawing board. Trying to make time to spend with those closest to me which is very challenging when my bedtime routine starts at 7:30...well, Will's starts at 7:30. Then 8:00-10:00 pm is spent picking up the house, preparing cloth diapers for the next day, pumping breastmilk, dishes, laundry...oh, and then I might have a bit just to relax...if I want to stay up until 11:00. This having a baby thing sure changes your life. I know, I know...everyone told me that before Will was born but you just don't know how real it is until you're holding the little one in your arms, surrounded by dirty laundry, and just completely consumed by how excited you are that he's having a bowel movement, or burped, or has chunky little legs, or said "GOO"...none of which, by the way, is exciting when another adult does that. When do chunky legs and bowel movements become not-so-cute? It's really too bad because I have/do both and really wish someone would say "how sweeeeetttt" when they see my legs :)

So, what do I do with these random thoughts? I think I shall do nothing that takes my focus away from my goal. That means focusing less on trying to make my house look like Martha lives there and spending more time with my husband after Will is asleep. That means worrying less when we don't get the diapers washed and have to use disposables and spending more time in the Word. That means spending time with God in the mornings instead of doing dishes left over from last night so that I don't have to "come home to dirty dishes at night". That means enjoying every last drop of life...everything that it has to offer...every last delicious God-given morsel whether good or bad, happy or sad. Feels good to say all of this outloud and put things into perspective. Time to focus rather than just go on auto pilot. Time to enjoy the ride.