hmm

Well, I'm not sure what to title this blog. Found out today that I have Mosaic Turner's Syndrome. TS is a chromosomal condition that describes girls and women with common features that are caused by complete or partial absence of the second sex chromosome. If you are familiar with Turner's Syndrome (TS), you will likely know that I do not have any of the physical features of this condition. I just learned about this all today so I couldn't tell you much other than people with TS generally are short in stature, may have some problems with intellectual functioning, and often have premature ovarian cancer. MOSAIC Turner's Syndrome is different. All I understand right now is this:

1. This has caused my miscarriages.
2. It is likely that I will have difficulty carrying a baby to term.
3. If I was able to get pregnant and make it to the second trimester I have a much better chance of having a full term baby.
4. If I got pregnant with a girl, her chances of Turner's Syndrome (not Mosaic, but full TS) are great.
5. Will is a miracle.

That's how I understand it now. I know that I'm pretty overwhelmed with the news and maybe don't understand all the details. The Fertility Specialist suggested I see a geneticist to see if this condition lies only within my blood. If it does, then fertility treatment could be helpful. If it doesn't, I don't know.

What does this mean? I don't know.

How am I feeling? I don't know.

So many things flood my mind, hence the blog post tonight.

Adoption? I don't know.

I am praying, no, I am listening and watching as God opens and closes doors as he so often does in our lives. I pray that I am available to God's guidance, that I will hear and trust the direction he leads us. I don't know how many miscarriages I can go through. If I knew that #4 above was not a possibility, I think I could go through more miscarriages with the hope of another baby.

I'm out of words.