4.17.2009

free-flow journal

Something I often request of my clients is to begin writing free-flow journals. Just sit down with a pen and paper or at a computer and start writing. It's amazing what you'll learn about yourself and what's going on with you that you wouldn't have realized if you hadn't taken time to allow yourself to just write. So, I thought it would be interesting to make a free-flow journal into a blog. We'll see how this goes.

Now that I'm meandering my way into the new territory of motherhood, my thought processes have changed. I am much more aware of babies as I pass them in the stores. I watch parents as they play with, scold, love, protect, laugh...with their babies. Yes, I've always loved children and yes no baby has ever passed my way without mention of an "Oh, look how cute" or "Bless his little heart" :) But now that there is an actual-real-life-there's-no-turning-back-now-one-pound-11-inch-baby in my belly, life is changing (quite literally, actually!). I can feel him or her more and more each day. Yesterday was the most I had felt little Baby W and it felt like a roller coaster in my belly. For the past several weeks, okay all of the past several weeks, I have been pretty freaked out about the idea of a baby being "in there". I've explained the feeling like swallowing a bug and knowing it was still alive and moving around "in there". Sad, but true. Something changed yesterday. I was on a conference call and felt some actual kicking. Baby W is getting quite accustomed to having a full-access pass to all of my major organs. The favorite: my bladder. OH, what fun. I've had to pee so often that I'm even dreaming about bathrooms. One bathroom I dreamt about was all gold, another was normal except for the enormous toilet...it's truly amazing that I haven't wet the bed...yet.

Ahem.

There are so many things going on in the Worley household. Mostly questions that have yet to be answered: where should the baby sleep, do we need a crib and a bassinet, how about a high chair, a swing, a bouncy seat, what's the difference between breast pumps (eww), are we really ready for this, will we ever be ready, how will we afford daycare, how will we afford everything, is cloth-diapering really the way to go, should we move, will I be a good mom, what will the baby's personality be like, will the baby have Jason's lips, will the baby have my sense of humor, will the baby have 10 fingers and 10 toes, will the baby be healthy, should we find out the sex of the baby ...along with the many questions comes many emotions...excitement, wonder, fear, worry, happiness, joy, anxiousness, etc etc etc

deep breath

Through all the questions and emotions, there are 3 things I know for sure:
1. I serve an incredible, perfect, wonderful God that already knows the plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) and I live in wonderment of Him daily.
2. I can't wait to meet this little God-created wonder that is growing inside me.
3. I am truly blessed.

3 comments:

The Fords said...

Very cool post, I like the idea! I'll try to keep my responses short. You don't need a highchair, not yet anyway. Yes you need a swing and a bouncy seat. Don't buy a breast pump until you find out if the girlies are functional, if they are, buy a medical quality pump. You are ready for this or you would not have been given this precious gift. Daycare will work out, it's just hard and you will find a way to afford everything. Cloth diapering is a personal choice but I personally LOVE disposables. Don't move, not yet. See how everything adjusts first. But if you do, head out to Rose Hill with us! I am certain that you and Jason both will be excellent parents. The baby will have his/her own awesome personality and whatever it is you will think they are a genius and hillarious. Not sure about the lips but I plan to stare at Jason's tonight when he talks just to see how long it takes to make him uncomfortable. (HA!) The baby will have his/her own sense of humor, not yours. I'm sure all fingers and toes will be there but lots of people get along fine with some missing, just ask Melissa! For anyone else reading this, that's funny, not mean. I can't say if the baby will be healthy or not although I hope he/she will be. But if for some reason he/she isn't you are still the most qualified parent to guide him/her through illness otherwise you would not have been given this baby who would need you specifically. And FINALLY, wait to find out the sex, it is one of the few true surprises in life.

Erika said...

Fun post Meesh! Just FYI, the baby swing is practical for only a short period of time, like a couple of months. So if you're looking to cut something out, that might be the way to go. We used a saucer and bouncy seat much more. You will definitely learn your "mommy-ing" style as you go. I can't wait to meet your little one! Do you have a W name picked out for both genders?

Michelle said...

Thank you both for your posts! SO nice. We call the baby "Baby W" because my mom started calling it that. And, since both my married and maiden name starts with a W it worked!

Boy name picked: William Grayson (nickname Will)

Girl name picked: Charlotte Alyssa (nickname Charlie)

We both love both names, especially Charlie for a girl. As for Will/William, named after my side of the family/my maiden name. I'm really excited! Also, I think it's a girl. No reason to know that, just a feeling.