Stream of Consciousness

I just read Pioneer Woman's blog and was inspired to write a Laura-ish/Pioneer Woman-wish blog with random thoughts/stream of consciousness. Clear as mud?

1. I am sitting in Panera Bread with their free Wi-Fi. Supposed to be working but found my way to my blog. I guess this is called a lunch break? Whatever that is.

2. I am close to the date for scheduling my surgery. I am overwhelmed (in a good way) daily with thoughts of what my life will be like post-surgery. Sometimes this brings me to tears, even right now I'm overcome with excitement. I've decided to send my surgeon a "thank-you-in-advance" card. I'm going to pick one up today.

3. Panera has yummy soup. I LOVE soup. I remember the surprise party Jason threw for me for my 30th birthday. He planned everything to the "T". It was a soup and dessert party. There were several kinds of soup. He smelled like soup when he picked me up from school the day of my party. I remember the smile on his face. It was sweet. I LOVE soup....and Jason :)

4. We are getting ready to go on a long-weekend getaway to celebrate our 11-year anniversary, which is Friday. I can't wait! Heading to St. Louis for a few days of museums and fancy food. Then going to wine country in Missouri for some Octoberfest celebration and staying at a B&B. My brother-in-law graciously got us a VERY discounted room at the Hilton in St. Louis. Tre Fancy!! YAY!! Will is spending the weekend with my family. We are mailing him a gift while we're away: a 2-foot Ugly Doll. He's going to LOVE it.

5. I LOVE my job. Can I say LOVE enough? I mean it. Yesterday, as I was leaving, one of my teen clients, who has experienced trauma that would keep you awake at night cursing mankind said (actually yelled across a room of people) to me, "Thank you for loving me, Michelle". She is a miracle. She has gone from not trusting people AT ALL to being able to acknowledge that someone loves her in front of her peers. I am so very blessed. I believe, I know, this is my mission field. I can't help but be in love with this work. God is amazing in his plans. Even through trauma, God is present.

That's all. I suddenly am without words. Plus, Panera only allows 30 minutes of free Wi-Fi during peak lunch hours.

Michelle out.

decisions, decisions

Had an appointment with the bariatric surgeon yesterday. Lots of decisions made although there are more to be made. What we know "for sure":

1. I am going to plan to have the surgery done this year, maybe even next month!

2. Have to secure medical loan for $12,000. Doesn't that just sound fun? Donations accepted :)

3. EGD scheduled for this Thursday. Basically, they are going to stick a scope down my throat to check out my stomach and make sure all is ok. Doesn't that sound loverly? Um, no. Especially when they have to ask you questions like "do you have a living will" and makes statements like "make sure you have someone who will be with you for 12 full hours after the procedure". Thanks, that makes me feel comfortable. I'm more nervous about this procedure than I am the actual surgery!! Prayers welcomed.

4. November 4th...scheduled for psychological evaluation and appointment with nutritionist. I'm actually looking forward to this day.

5. Tomorrow I'm going to call and schedule the surgery date. I will be in the hospital less than 24 hours start to finish. One week of recovery. Then I'm "done"! There are little complications with Gastric Sleeve (which is the procedure I've decided on after meeting with the surgeon and talking a LOT with Jason). Doc said he has performed this surgery on close friends who he goes to dinner with and said you can hardly tell except that he eats 1/3rd of what Doc eats.

6. Prepare for brutal honesty....Doc said I can expect to lose 80% of my excess body weight. Keep in mind that is based on the 120 pounds that a 5'7" person "should" weight. He said I'd probably lose around 175 pounds. That is 1.75 New Kids on the Block.

7. First thing I will do the second it is possible: plan my trip to World's of Fun. Who's with me?!?!?!?!?!

8. Next step: start day-dreaming about the clothes I will get to wear. At my current weight, my style is largely determined for me. Not anymore, baby!! I have no idea what my style might be. Do you know I'm going to probably weight less than I did in the 6th grade! Since I probably won't dress like I did in the 6th grade, I'm going to have to start researching styles I like. How exciting! Gonna need help!!

Anxious is a good word for how I'm feeling.